002.2: Thesis Statement, Second Draft

Along with the elevator pitch and links to pre-thesis work, I've posted the second draft of my thesis statement to the About the Project page:

The positivist and logico-totalitarian nature of computing culture (as currently constituted) manifests and influences everyday discourse — particularly through the way we understand and deploy information and data. Using standard sensors and the basic form of data visualization but nonstandard content — amorphous, incomplete, layered memory — provides for a system of ambiguous data collection and reflection that may stand as an alternative. Taking a phenomenological stance to the project, using practice-as-research, will extend this resistance through possibility into the project as well as the product.

Strangely, this has been the hardest part of the project to write so far. Trying to be accurate and brief — and to keep the writing sharp — has proven elusive. This version seems to sacrifice the third for the first two. But it is still just a draft, right?